Origins of Stuff

Have you ever wondered where stuff comes from? "What stuff?", you may ask. After many years of careful observation and study, I'm convinced the "what" is irrelevant. My studies have determined "stuff" refers to any group of objects that you inexplicably have too much of. In the case of today's commentary, I refer to clothes. Specifically children's clothing.

Over the past several days, Cindy has been going through the clothing that our children have outgrown. You should see the kitchen and dining room. The stove is still clear, but every other conceivable surface is covered. The counters are full. The dining room table has disappeared. The floors have morphed into a strange maze of boxes. I went to make a glass of tea, and emerged three hours later, having become lost in the plethora of garments. This is just the 6-18 month sizes. God help us when she tackles the larger pieces.

Many years ago, my Dad offered this theory... In the dark of night, or simple hours of quietness, when no one is home, the "stuff" comes to life. It then moves from room to room, fertilizing the other stuff. After this frenzy of propagation is completed, it takes only hours for the new "stuff" to emerge. I am beginning to believe his theory may have valid foundations.

This new found life form must also be intelligent, as items I am specifically searching for find unique ways to remain hidden, only to be found after a replacement has been purchased. Many times I have placed something in a certain location so it can easily be located when needed, only to have it move unaided to another place. Maybe there are some time space continuum accesses available to these life forms. I even set up a night vision camera to catch these after hour activities, but their intelligence and awareness enabled them to move about undetected by my high tech surveillance.

Whatever the cause of such strange activities, we will continue to combat this tribble like phenomenon in what ever ways we can. Please remember us kindly should we ever loose this battle, and fail to emerge from our house one afternoon.